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We need to talk more than once a year…Mental Health is health!

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So yesterday was #BellLetsTalk Day and I love that every year there is a Canada wide focus on talking about mental health.  I struggle with the fact that after that, it’s back to being that subject we don’t say much about, hide or make fun of. 

Late in 2014 after a few major setbacks in my life, I developed severe anxiety.  I mean that in every sense of the word, I had lost the drive to be involved, had lost my confidence and was in the midst of a pretty significant depression depression. I was working nights at the Rodd, I’m forever thankful for that opportunity, and I was running a restaurant full time, living on 2-3 hrs of sleep a night if I was lucky.  In January of 2015 I had my first panic attack.  It was a panic attack in the usual sense, the kind you might see as a stereotypical one in the movies, I couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t calm down, mind racing, just pure blind panic.  I was headed to PEI for business meetings and managed to pull it together by the end of the three hour drive. I rubbed a pair of prayer beads in my lap for the entire drive. That was my first one, for the next 10 months I had daily panic attacks, severe and frequent, but those ones weren’t the kind you would see in the movies.  I got really good at hiding them, because you adapt and hide when it comes to mental illness.  I had them everywhere, at work, on our TV show Have a Chat, while I traveled for work, in meetings, out with friends, everywhere.  Very few people in my life knew what I was going through, I didn’t want to burden anyone, they all had their own problems, didn’t want anyone to see how I was struggling, how I had changed, that I wasn’t the same always happy, always optimistic person I had always been or that I was weak and couldn’t cope. That was probably the sticking point for me, that I was weak and just needed to get a grip so to speak.  Mum and dad bore the brunt of my challenges.  I moved to Fredericton for work in March of that year in an attempt to save the restaurant by taking a job that paid enough to get by.

I worked hard to find strategies to get through my attacks, I couldn’t read to calm myself because my mind wouldn’t focus enough although reading has always been probably my favourite pass time. I would play Candy Crush, it was a distraction and I had to focus just enough to make the moves so that was a good thing, I listened to audio books as I drove home from Fredericton each week to work in the restaurant, and I wrote down the things I was grateful for each day, to be honest as I read them now, it was sad but very effective, some days I was just grateful for finding a good parking spot.  I prayed a lot, I spoke to God every chance I got but I also struggled in my faith, I didn’t understand what I had done to make my life spiral so far out of my control or in my mind, be punished in this horrible way. 

After those initial 10 months, my attacks became less frequent, always severe but not as often.  Here we are 7 years later, I haven’t had a panic attack in at least 3 or 4 years.  I know what my triggers are and mitigate them as quickly as I can when I see them coming.  It sounds easy but it really isn’t, it takes work and focus.  Those attacks also taught me a lot, I can see that now, although I didn’t at the time.  I am stronger, more decisive, more empathetic and kind to those around me.  It’s made me a better leader, I consider all angles before I make a decision even when a quick decision is needed.  I can much more easily meet people where they are rather than where I want/expect them to be which helps me build those bridges needed to get things done.  That time also humbled me in so many ways, I’m still happy and optimistic but realize that life is tough and we’re all doing the best we can. 

Why do I share, I’m sure you’re wondering, we need to talk to each other more than once a year, we need leaders who aren’t afraid to be open and honest so others can be too.  Just know you have an ear if you need it.  Everyone has something going on, it doesn’t make you less, it just makes you you.  #BeBetter #MentalHealth #YellowButtonProject #MiramichiProud #2022AdventureIsCalling

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It’s a brave new world – the life of a Military Brat!

Featured / arsenaultv / Leave a comment

It’s funny, I don’t remember ever feeling different than other kids I went to school with, but in reality as the military “brat” I was in most ways, an oddity.  I didn’t usually go to schools on the base where dad was stationed, so I truly was one of a kind most of the time. 

I remember when we moved to Montreal, we were living in an apartment on the second floor of a duplex, the landlady lived downstairs.  She wasn’t the kindest of souls to be honest.  I remember a lot of yelling and a whole lot of glares coming my way.  I was four years old and an only child, quite the combination really!  I was really good at keeping myself entertained, reading, colouring, playing outside.  From time to time though, she just didn’t like me or even the neighborhood kids playing near the building so the looks would start and then mum would get the talking to.  We moved from Germany where I was born and spent my first adorable years of life.  The move seemed like no big deal really until I realized they didn’t speak German or English most places in Montreal.  End of the world feelings when I went to daycare or “la garderie”, as it was called, for the first time and realized all they spoke was French!  How in the heck was I going to survive it all.  I, in all my cuteness, had no way to communicate with all these strangers.  I remember standing in the little cafeteria during nap time, screwing up my courage just desperate for a snack, what was my first word in French you might be wondering, well I tell you, it was driven by my desire to eat!  I asked in my most powerful four year old little voice, BISCUIT?  That cookie was perhaps the best cookie I ever had, I mean I had crossed the barren desert and overcame the mountain in search of sustenance.  Nothing could stop me now.   

What really sticks in my mind now though is the impact that Early Childhood Educators have on the children in their care.  I went to that garderie for several years and I still remember Marcelle, who worked there.  I can picture her wild curly hair, her beautiful personality and ability to let us all be who we were, even at the tender age of four.  She wore these incredible home made bohemian type skirts and even made me a couple as I longed to feel that freedom and of course I wanted to look just like her.  Marcelle helped us all explore art, music, reading, outside play time and just about everything else our little heart desired.  She taught me French but most importantly she hugged me when I needed it most.  What an incredible gift that was for me at a time when I knew nothing and no one in a great big world that was scary and strange.  She even gave me my first brush with fame!  A newspaper article on daycare in Montreal featured a picture of Marcelle and her “kids” me included, what a rush!  

So many of life’s firsts happened to me in the years we lived in Montreal.  I learned and I lived and I thrived.  Being a military kid has so many advantages and of course some challenges.  I read somewhere that we say goodbye to more significant people by the age of 18 than most people do their entire lives.  We get very good at making friends, keeping ourselves busy or entertained and at saying goodbye, till we meet again.  Of course that means that we say goodbye a lot, to people we hope we’ll see again one day although back then it wasn’t as likely or as easy to connect as it is now.  For some, moving around that much means keeping to yourself a bit more than most other kids out of self preservation, but I will admit all in all I don’t regret that life we lived.  Without it I wouldn’t have all the stories I have to tell and those stories and experiences have enriched my life beyond measure.  Can’t wait to share those with you next.

#2022AdventureIsCalling

Her beauty was just the beginning – Marjorie Eleanor Losier

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“To Whom much is given, much is expected“ my stunning grandmother Marjorie Eleanor Heffernan Losier lived her life by that belief.  She was born in Edmonton, Alberta, January 13, 1922.  What a time that must have been. She was the middle child of 3 siblings, her older sister Marie and her younger brother Jack.  Marjorie or Margie as later we called her was probably the typical middle child, a bit rebellious and marched to the beat of her own drum all the while knowing exactly how to charm anyone she encountered.  She met a dashing doctor when she was just 18!  Imagine that, I have no doubt my grandfather took one look at this incredible beauty and fell completely in love in that moment, he was almost 30 years old at the time!

She moved across the country with two small children to a town where she knew no one!  Although Chatham and later Miramichi as a whole became her home, she had to forge her way in a time that didn’t have those connection conveniences we take for granted these days.  She left her entire family back in Edmonton, never quite sure when she might see them again.  It wasn’t so easy or affordable back then to see or even call when the whim might take her.  She truly must have felt quite alone.  She lost her sister and brother at young ages, both of them.  Her will of steel was evident to all who knew her.  Once she made up her mind, she stood by that!  She and my grandfather Percy went on to have 5 more children here in Miramichi.  I think most know of our four generations of doctors in the family, it’s hard to imagine a better example of a family calling!  What most don’t know however, is the remaining siblings all became teachers, they led by example and influenced generations of children in their care.  They are a family of community servants who have never stopped giving back.  

Margie lived a life of quiet leadership for the most part, she let her example be her voice. She raised seven incredible children who enhanced the lives of those around them each in their own way.  None of them, though, could have done that without her, she supported, cajoled and guided them all throughout their lives so that they could be the best version of themselves possible.  She was a constant sounding board and ear for all that sought her out.  Given the time in our history it was quite remarkable really that she ensured all of her children not only went to University but excelled in their chosen careers. 

She was stunningly beautiful, glamourous in what she wore and never a hair out of place.  I can still hear her coming down the hall in her high heels, she was never ever, and I mean never without a pair of heels on, even in her nightie!  Did I mention that grandpa was 5ft 2in and she was already 5ft 6in bare feet, it didn’t matter, she was happiest in heels and she wore them with grace!  She was the kind of woman that when you saw her in the grocery store or at church, you just stared because she had such a presence about her and a gift for connecting with those around her.  

We lost my grandfather quite a few years ago in 1983, he was 72 years old.  Grandma was still a relatively young woman at that time.  She continued on without him, here in the town that had become her home.  

She was a defining influence on my life and I’ve tried to live up to her example every day.  We lost Margie January 14, 2009, the day after her 87th birthday.  There is so much more I could say about her, her quick wit, her thirst for knowledge and love of playing bridge and Scrabble just to name a few but that still wouldn’t cover as much as she deserves.  Today would have been her 100th birthday, we always had a celebration, this year I’m thinking back to the wonderful things she did with her life all the while being the best dressed in the room!

#2022AdventureIsCalling

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Along the Way – Let’s get this party started…

Featured / arsenaultv / 1 Comment

I’ve often said I don’t enjoy writing; I’ve always found it long and boring I guess, no idea where to start or how to make it all work.  I like to tell myself I’m a good writer but I’m not even sure about that.  Why in heck did I decide to start writing a blog, you might be thinking…I’m thinking it too but I also realized not long ago that I’m in desperate need of a creative outlet.  I’ll blame it on Covid, seems like the easiest way rather than digging too deep for the real reasons.  

In 2020 when we were sent home from work on that fateful March 16th day, I started a two week laugh series on social media called Captain’s log.  I was a Star Trek fan and the Captain’s log was always a way to keep track of important events on the ship.  I truly thought that we would be home for two weeks, maximum.  365 days later I ended it, but it sparked a bit of a desire to share my thoughts and to get some feedback from those around me.  Sometimes it was funny, sometimes it was thought provoking and sometimes it was just a “how do you do today” kind of post.  I really enjoyed it and it made me think more critically in a lot of ways.  I’ve lived a lot of unique adventures in my life.  Most people have when they really sit down and think about it but I wanted to put my adventures to paper so to speak so I could look back and remember days gone by.  That’s what the Captain’s log taught me actually was that I enjoy looking back on those posts now more than anything.  They are a way to remember that year, the first year of the global pandemic that changed how we view the world and how we live in it.

I’m not sure what 2022 has in store but I know that I want to live it out loud, like really out loud.  What does that mean, well, I want to experience new things, make memories with the ones I love and look back on this coming year with awe and wonder at how I got to do it all.  I want to laugh more, love more and cheer more for those around me as they succeed!  So, despite my definite inadequacies in writing and my uncertainty that anyone will actually read what I write, I’m giving it a try anyway.  This is my first adventure of the year and I’m terrified but eager. I’ll take this year and share what’s on my mind, my experiences, my life and my lessons.  I’ve learned the hard way on so many things but that’s ok, maybe I was meant to fall a few times so I could share that with you, so you don’t have to!  I hope you’ll share with me too when the fancy strikes you, it’s a way for me to connect with those around me in a way that I don’t get to usually.  I hope this year pushes you in some amazing ways as well.  Make it the best you can, we’ve had to think differently in the last couple of years, let’s see what we can do with that.  I wish you incredible things for 2022, wonderful memories and amazing opportunities to laugh and love.  

#2022adventureiscalling